Today I choose gratitude...

The world is an interesting place right now and like many people I am up and down in my own feelings. One of the things that I have been working on is practicing more gratitude. I was on a Zoom call with some co-workers recently and they were talking about how grateful they are to be living in this time and to be able to be a part of the drastic changes that are taking place in the world. And it caused me to pause. What a great way to turn what could be fear and uncertainty into a positive way of looking at this time in space. We are living through a period where some of the ugliness that has always been there is coming to light and that’s pretty exciting (and scary). And it’s up to us to decide if we focus on the light or the darkness.

The research on gratitude is clear – there is nothing bad about it and it can be more powerful than medicine to improve our mental and our physical health. It is also one of the easiest (and hardest) things to do regularly. It’s called a practice for a reason, we need to practice it, try new ways of thinking about it and then practice it over and over again. And the cool thing about it is, like any practice, the more we do it the better we get at it.

The idea of creating a gratitude practice has become more and more popular and there is a wide range of resources available (I included a few below). I have read several books and done a lot of other reading and found at the core of most of the work is the idea of coming up with conscience practices that you repeat throughout the day. So for me it has been trying out a bunch of different practices to find the ones that stick and that I am committed to. After all, the more you stop, pause, and take the time to be grateful the more you will benefit from the practice.

One of the most common recommendations is to keep a gratitude journal and to stop throughout the day and write down a few things that you are grateful for. In theory, I love this idea. I even found an old notebook I had that was super cute, put it by my bed and decided that I would wake up and write in it each morning and then again as I went to bed. That lasted for about one day. Then another person suggested keeping a Word doc on your computer and each time you opened your email in the morning you would first write down at least 3 things you were grateful for. Also loved the idea and saved a Word doc titled “Things I am Grateful For”. And that was as far as I got. See, so easy and yet so difficult. But I was determined to keep trying things. I read some research (for example) and was saddened to see that American men (and boys) are less likely to experience gratitude and read another article about how much the feeling of gratitude can be passed on by a mother and so I became determined to include my boys in my practice. So we found something that stuck. Each night at bedtime we talk about one thing that we are grateful for and something that made us happy that day. Sometimes it’s a super silly thing (these days Mindcraft time and ice cream often top the list) but it makes me happy to be sharing this practice with my kids from an early age. And it helps me slow down and think about some of the positive things that happened to me each day.

Another idea I love is every time something annoys you (i.e. kids leaving dirty dishes around the house), stop, pause and instead of focusing on the annoyance of it, focus on what it would be like without that in your life. In this example, I can focus on how the kids make a huge mess and don’t help or I can think about how empty my life would be without them. I can focus on the fact that we have food that makes the plates dirty and a dishwasher to help me clean them or I can spiral into a pity party about how hard it is to have everyone home all the time and how I am the only one who cleans. It all comes down to how I choose to respond to the situation. And like I said it's a practice and not always perfect. But when I do choose to think about the emptiness of life without that annoyance the outcome is always better than the pity party route - no big surprise there...

A final idea I love is the idea of taking pictures of things throughout the day that we are grateful for. I almost always have my phone around and love taking pictures so this one is fun for me. Now as I am going about my day I can stop and take pictures of little things I am grateful for…for example, there is a giant yellow butterfly that has been visiting us each day, wildflowers are popping up everywhere, I walked into the bedroom and my husband was folding laundry, a delicious dinner in front of me, a favorite song on the radio (sometimes I use video too), etc. etc. etc. And one of the coolest things about this practice is that then as I scan through the pictures later I am reminded of all of the little things that make me grateful.

This is a good overview of gratitude.

A resource for all types of gratitude practices is here.

Some ideas for kids/teens.

To end this post I would be remiss to not mention that I am grateful for you, my readers, who motivate me to read and to share ideas. I absolutely love researching and sharing and I am grateful to have found a new space in which I can do this. Good luck, give yourself grace and enjoy finding the gratitude in each moment! And please share ideas that are working for you - I love hearing new ideas about how people are practicing gratitude!