How can I love myself, let me count the ways...

This post is all about self-love: what does that mean, why is it important and how can I do more of it?!? We’ve created a world in which being busy is the norm and saying yes to everything is what we do. And because of that, we have little time for each other and even less for ourselves. I am completely guilty of all of the above – I thrive on being busy (or at least that is what I have told myself) and love having a million things going on. That lifestyle was fairly sustainable when I was single but after adding a husband and two kids it was becoming more and more difficult. Fast forward to today where now most of us are contemplating how we are going to manage working while having kids home all while a worldwide pandemic changes all that we know. Throw in the stress of getting sick and we are facing unknown precedence in mental health. And while these concerns are daunting there are some little things that we can do to start taking better care of ourselves to hopefully avoid some of the larger issues.

The first thing to know is that self-love is simply taking care ourselves the way that we would take care of another person. Saying kind things, taking time to eat well, exercise, and slow down. We need to move away from the negative stigma that can be associated with taking care of our own mind, body and spirit. It is not selfish to do it and in fact, research is now supporting the importance of filling our own bucket before we can fill others. So I challenge you to start thinking about how often you sacrifice your own needs for the needs of others. Start noticing the things that you say to yourself. Start scheduling in 5-10 minutes each day to do something that you love. Before over-committing yourself, take a minute to consider if what you are saying yes to – is it something that will bring you joy or is it guilt forcing you to say yes? Celebrate and acknowledge your own successes and forgive some of the failures. Take a 10-minute stretch break, do a 5-minute breathing/meditation, or cut some of these things out. In our quest to be perfect we often put so much guilt on ourselves if we don’t work out or we have dessert. Sometimes it is just fine to skip a workout or to have a scoop of ice cream. That’s where the grace comes into play. Nobody is perfect and often the standards we hold ourselves to we would never expect anyone else to live up to. So start recognizing these tendencies and as Elsa would tell you, let it go!

The wonderful thing about self-care is that the small changes make a big difference. So here are some small Things to Try:

- add items of self-care to your to-do list. Then you get the added bonus of crossing something off your list

- before you turn on the computer and check emails write down something you are grateful for

- schedule at least 10-minutes a day to do something purely for yourself

- practice saying no to people

- give yourself grace – think about the things you say to yourself and if you wouldn't say that to a friend, don’t say it to yourself

- ask for help – yes, it is okay to admit we can’t do it all

Look in that mirror today and tell yourself you’re gorgeous – because you are! Sending love your way!